Today I looked at an apartment.

And… the building smelled like stale fart.

And… there was a giant scary angry dog (picture The Beast from Sandlot).

And… the apartment had a murphy bed.

And… the mattress was just bare rusty springs.

And… on top of the bare rusty springs was a single red rose. 

And… there was a man’s acid-washed jean jacket hanging in the closet.

And… I’ve never wanted a camera crew to pop out and say “HAHA WE GOT YOU!” more than that moment, because… WTF?

The Time I Posted a #FuneralSelfie

My first piece for The Siren! I’m so proud to be a part of this site with such talented awesome people. I’m obsessed with everything on there.

popculturebrain:

Watch: Jimmy Fallon’s Winter Olympics songs from ‘SNL' circa 2002

It’s still not easy to downhill ski.

(ht @jordanrab)

I still have this, as well as his other parodies, in my iTunes.

Thank you Mike & Ike, thank you candy corn, thank you thank you smartieeeeesssss!

my backup plan in life is to open a potato-themed restaurant called Tots

(Source: naadaa11)

mtv:

Miley Unplugged just got Scandalous y’all!

Z, Sarah, Darb & G got to go to Miley Unplugged on Wednesday. I didn’t. :(

Acne PSA

(please read as if I’m a talking head in a Proactiv commercial)

I’ve had issues with acne forever. I’ve been on everything short of Acutane (which I’m scared of) and nothing has worked. THEN… my new dermatologist introduced me to this drug called Spironolactone and… goodbye acne! I’ve been on it for three months and I haven’t broken out in weeks. If you’ve tried everything and nothing works and your issues are stress related, def ask your doc about it. It’s worked wonders for me.

PS: I’ve tried Proactiv 6 times and it never works.

"This is an excellent rectangle," is probs in my top 10 favorite sentences said on TV now.

(Source: corymonteith)